On 30 Days Here…

Yesterday was 30 days in the new city.

In the first 30 days I:

• moved across country/rode in a car for 15 hours
• unpacked over 75 boxes
• installed, reinstalled and installed again my wireless internet connection
• had 2 out of 4 Sunday AJC newspapers delivered correctly
• did untold loads of laundry
• (ditto for dishwasher use)
• researched, test drove and bought a new car (Fiiiiiiiiiit!)
• worked on, went with the flow with (when plans majorly changed 2 times) and planned logistics for a 2 day festival in ATL (happens this weekend)
• entertained 5 visitors in one week
• researched, bought and put together 2 leather barstools and a wooden TV stand
• organized my new closet
• took 4 car loads of clothing and other things to Goodwill
• bought a sleeper loveseat
• bought a new outdoor plant for my balcony
• joined the gym downstairs and worked out 10 times (wish it was more)
• received countless emails and phone calls from family and friends asking me how I was doing
• cried myself to sleep 10 times
• found my mailbox after 8 days (was not told the mailbox #)
• spent 2 “fun” days of Comcast installation
• did hatha yoga 6 times
• received 5 cards and notes in the mail from friends
• watched TBO sleep for hours and hours and hours
• went to the Dialog in the Dark Exhibit in Atlantic Station
• had a lot of trouble sleeping the first 3 weeks. Still having some issues, but am starting to get a little more sleep.
• spent more time than one person should at Target and WalMart (surprisingly, more time at the WalMart which is farther down the road than Target)
• only been to Starbucks 2 times in 30 days (and one of them was the day after I got here) I think I have broken my addiction to hot chocolate
• was put on anti-anxiety medication
• learned my way to and from work both by Marta train and car
• found the closest JCPenney's
• learned the pros and cons of both Kroger and Publix (I think I like Publix better, but I am not sure yet)
• made brownies, homemade mac and cheese and homemade freezer burritos…mmm…comfort food

I am sure there is a lot more that I have done that I am missing, but this is all I can think of right now. It has not been the worst month of my life, but it certainly has not been the best.

While change is a good thing most of the time, I am allowing myself to be unhappy and homesick for a little while longer.

A lot of people have told me the sooner I “own” my unhappiness, stop pretending I love it to people who live here and just grieve for what I have lost, the sooner I will come to terms with everything.

I miss my friends. I miss picking up the 147 outside my house and waking up to frost on the windows. I miss my morning starbucks and walking to Walgreens at lunchtime. I miss hearing sirens every ten minutes on Sheridan and walking along the lake on the bike path. I miss I Go car sharing and pool monitoring. I miss seeing Chase banks on every corner and the crazy lady in the wheelchair that used to think she was a car. I miss seeing the Chicago skyline as I ride into work.

I still feel like I am on vacation.

I miss home.

3 weeks in… a progress report

Well, it’s been 3 weeks in my new condo, my new job- my new life. Soon, I will be adding new car to the mix (probably a Honda Fit).

I wish I could say that I love it here and I feel like I am “home”, but I don’t and I’m not.

I am overwhelmed most of the time at work – it feels like I am starting at a whole new organization. No one in my department knows me, my work ethic or my reputation. I find myself inter-office instant messaging my work family in Chicago just to “hear” a friendly/familiar voice.

Don’t get me wrong – there are VERY nice people in the building who have taken me to lunch, ask me to eat with them, people who I bother on a daily basis (hi “M” and “C”!) with incessant questions and random thoughts, and others who I am meeting for the first time who are extremely inclusive. I appreciate every person who has taken the time to reach out and welcome me to HQ.

With that said, unless I see the person 15 times a day, I have a hard time remembering their name. That’s not anything that wouldn’t happen in Chicago though, but I just have to remember 10 times the names now.

I am sad.

I am lonely.

I am tired.

I am having panic/anxiety attacks (recently put on meds to help with that, thank you very much).

I am not sleeping (see aside above – yep more meds).

I am overwhelmed.

I am living in a sea of boxes.

I am not liking what I am doing at work right now.

I feel isolated.

I feel incomplete.

I am trying to be positive about….something. Anything.

So here are 6 things I like about the ATL:

• I am closer to my aunt and cousins
• I have a Washer and Dryer in my unit.
• I have a dishwasher in my unit
• I have covered parking for my car at home
• I like my new gym – and it happens to be in my building and only cost 5 bucks a month
• I finally get a security pass (after 7 years of visiting HQ) to KEEP

Pathetic that all (but one) of my “likes” are objects, right?

I hope in the next few weeks I will begin to get in a better groove and start to meet new people and begin to feel more like myself and more relaxed.

But right now, as my toddler friends might say, “I don’t yike it here”.

Right now?

I just wish I were home. Anybody got a pair of ruby slippers?